buoy

some very exciting news (and a little bit of Relax Game!)

i don't even know where to begin...  so many things are in the works right now, and it's all happening so soon!

next weekend i'm heading out to nyc where i will be spending a week and a half with the boyf and getting to have some actual face-time with amber and mary catherine, as well as the friends i haven't seen in almost a year.
(emmmiilllllyyyyy!!!!!!!)

then, there is the incredibly incredible awesomeness that i don't believe i've talked much about (if at all?!) here.  and that awesomeness is called road trip!!! 

i'm stealing amber's logo for visual aid.  you can also click on it to get more info:

(there's also another lil' bit o' info here.)

 

the response that we've gotten so far has been phenomenal. we've had so many incredible offers of couches to crash on, back yards to pitch a tent in, thrifting hot-spots to hit up, as well as home-grown and home-cooked meals, secret swimming holes, favorite tea houses, etc. etc...  it's been really tough to narrow down our route.

however.  
we're limited in time (we're trying to keep it to three weeks.  ish.)  
so this is the tentative plan:

View Painfully Hip Roadtrip in a larger map

 

(sorry amber.  i'm kinda like totally ripping of the layout of your entire post.  this wasn't my original intention...)

this might be the most exciting thing i've done in years.

(also, i know i've been emailing a couple of you about this already - hi kim and m.! - but if anyone else has any "you must do this while you're on the road!!" tips, please do share!)

and as if that isn't enough excitement for one night, i have something almost as equally thrilling to share with you now:

another installment of Relax Game!!

i mean, it's pretty obvious that mini-grill-with-pine-cone would win hands-down last week, but i lost the most recent round:

   (i know none of the ladies are disappointed with this week's winner.  
i'm starting to think a good portion of you are just sticking around in the hopes that i'll post more pictures of asher.  that's ok.  i don't mind.  whatevs.)

 

i would like to point out, however, that asher, (what am i saying?!?!  The Other Citizen.  sorry.) is not as heart-breakingly manly as these pictures might indicate.  in fact, this particular round of Relax Game was cut short when, rather than wait patiently for me to find him in position – as the rules state – he screamed from his bedroom, “for the love of god, i’m relaxing!  can you please come find me?!  my skull is caving in under the the weight of the sofa!”

 

so the Other Citizen wins this week.  that's cool.
but if this is how he wants to play, then fine.  i know how to relax, and it is ON.

the new phoenix album comes out on the 26th.  i actually have it written in my day planner.  yes i do.

don't tell me this isn't the god damn sexiest thing you've seen in a long time:

since their us shows are about as frequent as santa-sightings, i got pretty excited when i saw they'd be playing in brooklyn (in my old neighborhood, nonetheless!) june 18th.  then i remembered that june 18th also happens to be the day that Best Birthday Present Ever happens.  (r. got me tickets to see wilco.  don't even get me started on that topic.  i will tell you this:  i knocked over no less than three drinks at the bar with overly-excited arm flailing after he told me.  and not all at once either.  i mean, i knocked over a drink each time someone new sat down and i shared the news.) 

it was the first time i've ever been kicked out of a bar.  on my birthday.  totally sober. while sitting with the manager.  who happens to be my bff.  

that's a lot of wilco-lovin.

you know what else is exciting?  

summer hair cut time.  especially when it involves a late-80's asymmetrical mass of confusion.

why yes, that IS the Eagle of Embarrassment black-barring my eyes in the "before" picture.

 

also: how stoked are we that that there is now one less victim of "triangle hair" roaming the streets?

another also: do i get lazy asshole bonus-points for using photo booth?  i mean, is that even slightly socially acceptable any more?

the last also:  if you are a fan of Relax Game, i highly suggest tuning in tomorrow...  

(or later today, i supposes, since it's something stupid like 2:00 am right now.)

this is what i mean when i say i'm not joking around

i mentioned a while back that i'd been in the process of finishing up three of the 5 (custom-drafted/sized/re-drafted - ahem, picky brother? - and re-sized) western shirts that i owed The Other Citizen in exchange for man-handling my house for me. 

then of course, photographic proof was requested.

(why can't you guys just believe me?! have i ever lead you astray?)

so i lurked out back by his door with my camera until he wandered out onto the patio and started playing yard-banjo.  (this is actually way more common than one might assume.)

i felt it was a pretty safe bet to make that he would be wearing at least one of the shirts (if not all three, stacked on each other,) when i accosted him in the back yard with my camera.  this turned out to be the case.

i demanded that he appear to be relaxed and enjoying himself, (which is entirely different than enjoying a round of Relax Game.  more on that later...)

the pictures where he's laughing are because he's pelting me with pebbles.

i reminded him of the game called "guess-which-one-is-the-truth-game," and gave him (as outlined in the rule book,) three options he could choose from:

1. i threw cat litter in the dryer with your clean clothes

2. someone might have wiped down the toilet seat with your last piece of raisin toast and put it back in the bag before you woke up this afternoon, and

3. i rinsed my mouth out with your milk and put it back in the container for you.

he stopped pebble-ing me.

i sew a damn-good western shirt.

feel free to agree with me.

 

how to avoid domestic-violence

1. don't take your girlfriend's only remaining camera cord to back to brooklyn with you when you go.  (in his defense, he timidly asked, "um, is this my cord or yours?" as he was running out the door, but all i could muster in my Bad Burger King-vomiting stupor was "ughhhhhh!!!!!")

SOOOO...  after class today i will be venturing into the northern-most regions of Tucson City Limits to hunt down a new cord.  it is pertinent that i acquire one immediately, as there are some Very Important Photographs on my camera, which may or may not have everything to do with Relax Game.

also, i'm going to give you a little teaser:  the Relax Game board-members held their daily breakfast-and-discussion session yesterday, and some very interesting thoughts were thrown out there.  that's all you get for now though.

hmmm...  what else could i bore you with this morning?

ahh!

it took me ten hours to sort through and clean out all the old crap clogging up my poor little hard-drive yesterday.  but while doing so, i stumbled across some amazingly fantastic things i'd forgotten about.

such as this dress, which i plan to make about 30 of and wear all summer:

(i'm sorry!  it's been so long that i have no idea where i stole this from.  if it's yours, please tell me, and i'll give you credit/take it down, whichever you prefer...)

so "go to fabric store" is also on the list for today...

xo

i've been in bed all day

boyf left this morning.  i was going to drive him to the airport, but instead got to spend our last 10 hours together clutching the toilet seat after a run-in with some Bad Burger King at a shady truck-stop on the drive home from upstate yesterday.

anyway, in happier news, i got so pumped about the new layout that i made a celebratory collage!  the first picture is of me standing innocently outside of the above mentioned Bad Burger King. 

me, unassuming, our adorable hotel in prescott, and the back seat of my car after raiding my Favorite Northern Arizona Thrift Store.  (entire pile: $2.00.)

good lord, it's 10:00pm.  i need to do something productive with my day.  maybe starting with Get Out Of Bed, followed by Shower, and then concluded with Get Back Into Bed.

yes.  that's it.

yo duders

i've been f-ing around with the layout and my new photoshop-ish/illustrator-ish skills, mostly because i don't want to have to STACK all my damn photos any more.

stacks are stupid.  

anyway, the boyf and i are heading out on our Last Date before he goes back to ny tomorrow morning.

so i'm sorry if things are looking kinda awkward.  (i was going to use the term "wonkey," but then the urban-dictionary.com thingy informed me that that was actually a rude term.  so i won't be using that.)  anyway, i'm referring directly to my stupid flickr button that doesn't seem to want to give up the ol' purple background color.

anyway,

you know what's stupider than stacks?

boys in bands.

here's to mid-may, when we (me+you, the reader) see him again...

xo

Relax Game

see?!  it gets it's own title!  goggle-stats take that!

i'm currently in the cutest historic hotel in downtown prescott.  (we're staying at the hotel st. michael, in case you're ever in prescott and looking for a lovely place to stay.  or else just wondered where exactly i was.)

bonus points for the ol' mikey:  we got a significant discount due to the fact that we agreed to take a room without a key.  desk-boy has to let us in with the master-key every time we realize we forgot something in the car.  i don't know why we got the discount.  he seems to be the one who's suffering.

mike parking at our hotel

also, i was totally "spotted." as in, "wait...  i've seen you somewhere.  i totally recognize you..."  (by above-mentioned desk-boy.)  

but neither of us knew where that place was, so it was kind of a bust in the end.

for future incidences, i have crafted a list of vague, pretentious and sometimes blatantly false responses:

1. oh...  i've done a few indie films.

2. i have a spot on ESPN

3. shit.  i have to leave.  now.

4. i somewhat regularly post on this blog that a couple of my friends read...

new thought:  there is a band playing in the square across the street from our room right now.  i am so drained from driving and thrifting and having fun and trying to ignore the fact that the boyf will be 2500 miles away from me again in 48 hours, that i'm willing to take my chances, rest up in the room for another hour or so,  and assume that due to the early hour of the evening, said band is probably the crappiest one of the night.  just sayin...

totally smokin' babe in sedona

another hot dude in sedona.  doing Male Model pose.  by accident.  

he doesn't usually stand like this.

the best tank tops are the ones that used to have sleeves

i will now address the most important subject of this post:  Relax Game.

it seems to be getting a fairly positive response.  i may be incorrect, (and please set me straight if i am,) but i do believe it is bringing joy to the world.  

a request has been made: more Relax Game.

so here's the question:  

do you really want more Relax Game?  because i can provide it.  i just want to hear this from more than one person.  (hi aaron!)  because if the rest of you think it's stupid, i'm going to feel like a moron.  (when we have that meeting with all you guys and you critique me on my posts.)

what's that?  more road-trip pictures, you say?  ok.

totally pumped to be wearing my $0.50 stetson at a scenic overlook

a Very Serious Chasm

f-ing around at the Serious Chasm

don't flush your clothing here, ok?  are we cool with that?

hey folks, it's almost midnight!

i'm upstate with the boyf for today and tomorrow to celebrate the end of my birthday week and spend the last few days he's on this side of the country on a mini-vacation.

lack of posting has happened, in case you didn't notice.  it's my birthday week, so we can just ignore that.

there was a slight (read: massive) issue with Birthday Dress Number Two when i put it on to go out saturday night.  the issue being that somehow i managed to not accurately pre-shrink the fabric before sewing Dress Number Two, and when i took it out of the wash and tried it on, my tushie was in plain view.  Birthday Dress Number One (worn friday night,) luckily did not have this problem, but of course i don't have photographic proof yet.

anyway, rather than cry, i sucked it up and wore this cute little number:

everybody loves a birthday hussy

but that's not the most important thing.

the most important thing is this:

i just won relax game.  like, the Final Round:

yup, that's me in a mini-grill, munching on a pine cone.

here's another shot:

runner up?

my oldest brother's girlfriend, who pulled a sneak-attack by not telling anyone she was playing, and posed this amazing Relax last week:

western shirts for indie boys and one delicious salad

see?  you don't even have to read any further.  you already know what this post is about.

if you're still reading, i'll continue:

back in september or some equally embarrassing long time ago, i promised asher (whoa!  i mean, The Other Citizen,) that i would sew him 5 custom made western shirts if he remodeled my house.  fair trade.

anyway, i've since moved out of that house, and forced him to work his magic on a house about three times as large.  so far he's painted a good portion of the 2500+ square foot residence, completely remodeled one bathroom, built me a freakin' 15' L-shaped bar in (one of the) dining areas, re-assembled all the custom shelving he built for me in the last house, and began cutting, staining and assembling the most beautiful trim for pretty much the whole interior of the house - including window and door frames.

(in my defense, he does not pay rent in exchange for this work.  and i buy his toilet paper and milk.  and i gave him my old car.)

i recently demanded that he build me some cubed shelving as well.

i am a terrible, horrible person.  i can assure you of that.

anyway, here's the fabric he picked out for the above mentioned shirts:

i am proud to say that i've been slaving away over the past couple weeks, and three of the five shirts are finally near completion.  (they just need snaps.  i hate doing snaps.  and buttons.)

and yes, the bottom fabric is a plaid flannel cat-print.  he chose it.

next on the agenda:

would you like to know how to make my current most favorite meal of all time?

diana's favorite meal

- butter lettuce

- dried cranberries

- dried apricots

- salted pistachio nuts

- candied pecans or walnuts

- half an avocado

- crumbled bleu cheese

- raspberry dressing from trader joes

directions:

find the biggest bowl in the house.  decide how much you think you can eat of each item, and then double it.  chop up things you might prefer in bite-sized pieces.  (lettuce?  apricots?)  pile in your trough.  douse with dressing.  power down.

man, nothing is better.  seriously.

xo

a space in which i convince you to read the following

you know what the worst part about posting is?  the damn title.

it stresses me out.

every time i sit down with at the "compose new post" page, i get really excited and type something like, "bacon lover's fan mail" into the title line.  

then this little voice says, "google will never direct new readers your way if you post that."

then i tell the voice, "you know what?  i don't want to trick people into finding this thing 'cause of craftily worded titles.  in fact, now that i think about it, the thought of anyone actually reading anything i post is humiliating"

then i start feeling guilty for not posting more fascinating graphics and really embarrassed about the topics i tend to gravitate towards.  (that would be, "bitching about injuring myself," and "stupid things my brother and i do together.")

this conversation usually takes about 15 minutes, and then i realize i still don't have a title.

i mean, how would you sum up the weirdness that spews out of my head?  see?

and now i offer you two entirely unrelated things:

1.  a joke i made up.  (i am not age-ist.  i can poke fun at the elderly.  it's almost my birthday.)

Q:  how many old men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A:  what's going on?

are you dying?  i'm dying.  and i've told it to my two housemates at least 50 times.  each.  today.

(it gets the best response when you say the "what's going on?!" part a little too loudly.  and phrase it like a statement, not a question.  and nod to yourself a lot.  i should film a tutorial.)

2.  mom sent me the link to this.  along with the order to share it with my brother, who she still insists on calling, "Asher," and not "The Other Citizen," no matter how many times we correct her.

i'm telling you, she does not get funny things.

i should also tell you that the On Patrol song i told you we wrote yesterday is our mother's day present for her.  it's called, "senior citizen day at the hometown buffet."  it is awesome.  maybe i'll leak it for you guys to hear...

oh yeah, i was going somewhere with this.

the following is the best video my mother has ever directed me to.  i have watched it three times.  i may or may not have cried each time.

if you don't cry, then you probably stopped believing in santa when you were 5 or something.

creep.

Susan Boyle Stuns Crowd with Epic Singing - Watch more Funny Videos

 

kinda makes you want to go out and do something awesome with your day, doesn't it?

xo