yes!

i walked past the mirrored door on my super-huge room-length jumbo closet today (are you totally jealous?!  that's the response i'm going for...) and i thought:

"if i had a totally awesome big sister, this is what she would have worn in 1992."

and then i might have gotten a little nervous, so i added, "and she would have had a LOT of friends."

then i went to my studio and played a game called "Posing Like It's 1992.  Seriously Guys." 

i've decided that it's ok to share the poses, "Action Shot," "What's Up?!?!" and "A Second Ago I Was Doing 'Jazz Hands'," with you:

"Action Shot"

"What's Up?!?!"

"A Second Ago I Was Doing Jazz Hands"

i also decided that i would like to share a close-up of my back-side with you.

ha ha.  just kidding.  it's the belt:

ok, did you notice what's going on there?

that's my Most Favorite Belt Of All Time.  i got it at a thrift store for a quarter.  it says "New Mxico" in beads.  as opposed to "New Mexico," everybody's favorite 47th state.

i think it might have been made in a work-rehabilitation program for inmates on the planet, "Moon?"  i mean, that's what i'm hoping.

wow.  i'm laughing at my own stupid jokes now.

(it's funny 'cause there aren't inmates on the moon...  and also because the moon is not a planet.  everyone knows it's a satellite of the earth...  get it?!?!)

moving on...

yesterday The Other Citizen and i were reclaiming our clothes from the communal "clean laundry pile."  

despite the fact that he's 9 years younger, 7 inches taller, 50 pounds heavier than me and also a boy, we both have a penchant for wearing dark skinny women's jeans and xs american apparel tee-shirts and boy-shorts in the colors red, green and gray.

there might have been some bickering over who's was whose.

at some point The Other Citizen decided it would be funny if he started treating the laundry pile like a free-for-all, and began making a scene of picking his own things up, making a disgusted face, throwing them into my pile, and then excitedly snatching up things like my ruffled floral tank tops and rainbow striped miniskirts.  

it was funny for a minute.  (ok, five...)

but then he crossed the line.

we both saw - and dove for - my red winnie the pooh undies at the same exact moment.  (my mom bought them for me, ok?)

obviously The Other Citizen reached them first, because he's vicious and his arms are longer.  

this was not ok with me, and in a wild episode of "not thinking things through," i let him know exactly how i felt by shrieking at the top of my lungs:

"those are MY undies you moron!  they have POOH on them!"

so if anyone knows how many times an 18-year-old boy has to repeatedly shout something you accidentally said every time you enter the room, before he stops laughing to the point of injuring himself - i'd love to know.

thanks.

Comments

[Em]

Oooo. Having a brother 6 years my junior... I have to say you might be stuck with a lifer there.

[Kim]

Trying to type through tears of laughter isn't a very easy task, but I'll try to manage. That right there is why I've always wanted a little brother. I'm seriously crying ova hea.
Also? I remember 1992 and it never looked THAT good!

[diana]

em - i'm thinking i might need to take this to the "bargaining" level? like maybe make a list of things i could tell his girlfriend and slip it under his bedroom door?

kim - no, this is why you DON'T want a little brother :)
imagine this scene - i bring my boyfriend home for the first time at 16, when i'm painfully shy and even more painfully self-conscious of my weird family - FOUR brothers and my not-divorced, still sickeningly in love after 30+ years parents. (seriously, who does that?!) to make matters even worse, we don't live in a house, we live in a strange array of brightly-painted gypsy wagons that my father has built by hand and scattered across the property in a way that my shitty, self-centered teenage mind and the Neighborhood Association of my hyper-conservative 99.9% mormon no-name nevada town of 4,000 deem to be "morally wrong." bordering on "demonic," actually...
(don't get me wrong - my father is an architect and was building the most incredibly beautiful 3500 square-foot 3-story victorian style home, complete with 15-foot ceilings, hand-made trim in every room, and hand-carved and painted wooden "windows" perched above every inside door - like skylights, only with carved scenes of parrots on tropical branches and storks balancing on one leg in a pool of water. seriously. my father makes these things like it's EASY or something...) but yeah, we didn't live in the house... we lived in the tipi's and gypsy wagons AROUND the house.
so i bring said bf home to meet the family for the first time, and my oldest brother walks up to him, shakes his hand, and says, "hi. i'm james. i'm wearing a thong."

the relationship didn't last much more than another week.

[Em]

Well my Dear, you are Definitely down to the Five Bees: Beating, Baiting, Bargaining, Bartering, and finally -- my favourite -- Bribery (I will tell you there is a secret 6th Bee; Bludgeoning where said Brother's memory is wiped out completely, and yes Much more effective than Beating when it comes to retribution from an enormously large "little" brother).
Choose wisely MXICAN One...

[diana]

will you move in with me? i think we could come up with some fantastic Brother Control Tactics together.
and then the rest of the time we could just play with photoshop...
think about it at least?

[thefashionmaven]

i'm speechless.
i can't match your wit or your cuteness on ANY level... and it doesn't make me sad or mad it just make me awesome to know you :)
I CAN'T WAIT TIL I HUG YOUR TINY CRAZY WAIST! when are you going to be here?!
PS- are those your stairs in your house?! they look super cool.
PPS - we have a contract on a house but i don't think we'll be in it before you come... boo.