a post in which i reiterate my hatred for the dallas air port

i will also be pleading with you to never book with american airlines in this post.  

combine the two - american airlines and the dallas/ft. worth airport - and i do believe you have created the archetype for hell.

first of all though, how can a girl leave this face behind?:

what was i thinking?!  

so yeah, in case you didn't put two and two together, i left brooklyn to head back (short-term) to tucson this evening.

i got to laguardia at a reasonably responsible pre-flight time.  i was immediately (no, not immediately - that would indicate that american had done an efficient job in letting me know that my flight was delayed.  also, i'd just like to mention that they had both my and mike's telephone numbers and email addresses, so i'm a bit confused as to why i had to take the damn cab all the way to the airport to be informed that my flight was delayed.) anyway...  i reach the airport.  i am charged a ridiculous checked-bag fee.  i'm then told that my flight was delayed, i would be arriving in dallas 10 minutes prior to the departure of my second flight, and they would not be providing me with a hotel room or even a meal, if i chose to accept this offer.  ("offer?"  of what?  i paid for the damn ticket...)

i pulled my cuffs down over my tattoos and used my Stern But Friendly Professional Voice to say, "that won't work for me.  what else can you do?"

i had two other options:

 

1. fly to chicago. (i'm not sure where they were going with this one...)

2. take another $25 cab ride back to williamsburg, spend another 9 hours being bummed out in the apartment with the boyf, and then pay for a third cab fare to return to the airport at 5:00am.

i might have given the Counter Bastard a dirty look at that point.

then Counter Bastard pulls out this fantastic little bit of (purely fictional) information: "wait!  i just checked your flight...  the flight attendants for your dallas-to-tucson flight will be on the ny-dallas flight with you...  your connecting flight can't leave dallas until they arrive with your plane.  you'll totally make it!"

i said, "woo hoo!"  he said "woo hoo!"  i thought he was saying it because he had a heart and was excited for me.  in retrospect i now see that he was saying it because he was stoked i fell for the bs and was no longer His Problem.

long shitty flight later: 

we arrive in dallas.  the departure screen says, "flight 403 to tucson: currently boarding.  Gate D31."

obviously since i am transferring from one American flight to another, it would be necessary for me to take an air-tram ride to the other side of the universe where my departing flight is leaving from.  (i mean, it makes total sense...  middle of the night, desolate airport, same airline - duh you'd use AN ENTIRELY SEPARATE TERMINAL THAT REQUIRES A 15 MINUTE TRAIN RIDE BETWEEN CONNECTING FLIGHTS.)

so i run - and i mean book it - to my gate.  and oh!  how strange!  my plane left 20 minutes ago, there's not a soul in the entire terminal other than the dudes who polish the floor, and i'm sure laguardia Counter Bastard is having a fantastic laugh over the whole thing right now.

at this point i'm flying out of this god-forsaken place sometime tomorrow afternoon, once they can squeeze me on a flight.

what would you do?

i'll tell you what i did - i smiled politely to the cleaning crew, plunked my crap on the floor in front of a window and had myself a nice refreshing bawl.

a guy in the tequila bar across the way took pity on me and brought me a gator-aide as he went home, and an old man with a floor polisher came by a little later and gave me some blankets.  at least someone cares, even if it's not the people i gave $500 to in exchange for the promise that they'd get me home.

you know what upsets me the most right now?  i don't know where my baggage is.  and yesterday i procured the most fantastic black silky romper complete with a gold zipper up the front, (thanks to my sweet sweet boyf who took pity on my broke-ass and bought me way to many pretty things to wear on a little soho expedition...) and if i never get a chance to wear it, i really don't see the point in continuing to live.

oh, the drama.

in other news, i've been working on the most fantastical surprise for you all...  and due to my surprise extended layover in dallas, it will be finished and ready to be unveiled sometime tomorrow.  if my computer doesn't die.  keep your fingers crossed.  and avoid dallas while you're at it. 

 

Comments

[Kim]

I'm sad that I didn't comment on the Dallas airport the last time you talked about it. I haven't had to spend any time in that place I like to call the tenth circle of hell for about fifteen years, but that doesn't mean my hatred for it has diminished in any way. In fact, your stories brought it all raging back to me in sharp detail. The place was designed by Satan and I think he's still running things. The fact it's the size of a small city bigger than the town I grew up in only means Satan had a nice big budget to work with when he built it.
I'm so sorry (and a little worried) you've been stranded there for so long. I hope by now you're safely home and that your new jumpsuit is with you.

[diana]

haha! satan DID build it, didn't he?!?! i totally knew it.
in other news - obviously i survived. i've been in therapy for a week straight though.
(thus the extreme slacking in my responding-to-comments...)
sigh. i wish that was a real excuse...

[Evee]

I hate Amerian Airlines too. Last time I flew TO Dallas Ft Worth, our plane got delayed an hour, and at the end of the our, got delayed another hour, and so on... it ended up being delayed five hours and forty five minutes. :( :( I hate them!! And they only told us at the end of every "one more hour" delay that we couldn't leave and go somewhere else to wait! Those bastards.